HatterScaff
Well-known member
Will you two stop it now
my feckin ribs are hurtin:laugh:
my feckin ribs are hurtin:laugh:
Is it true
- Thread starter scaffman1
- Start date
Regardless of that fact that the yard manager has 35 years experience in the scaffolding industry, and has worked 7 days a week for the last 18 months "we sorted the yard out for that fat c**t".
Yea ,he's always a fat c*nt even if he's thin as a pole
---------- Post added at 12:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:35 PM ----------
139, Will accept and enjoy copious amounts of the contract managers premium grade cocaine at the Xmas piss-up, but then revert to referring to him as "that tight c**t" on Monday January 3.
140, If a rival gang do a large or prestigious job then the phrase "we were supposed to go over and do that, but were busy on item 121" will be used whenever anyone else mentions what a good job they did.
141, Has had a fight (and won) with his girlfriends ex fella (who works on Trad) at least once.
142, A folded up, out of date William Hill football coupon will be kept in the side pocket of his tool bag.
143, Thinks that electricity is piped into scaffolding yards and offices, free of charge.
144, Regardless of that fact that the yard manager has 35 years experience in the scaffolding industry, and has worked 7 days a week for the last 18 months "we sorted the yard out for that fat c**t".
145, Has gone down the yard, at least once 'to beat up the supervisor'.
146, Has never, ever, beaten up the supervisor.
147, Does not have any idea, whatsoever, what tredda plates are actually designed for.
148, Thinks an 'SK' is an acronym for 'steel klamp'.
149,Will happily go on his scaffold course rinsing you for every expense going, come back with a great big Portfolio,dump it on your desk,beg you to fill it in "cus I don't do paperwork" then the minute ,no second,its complete ask for another £20 a day "cus now I'm qualified"
150,Is guarenteed to ask if they can borrow a tiny bit of gear to do a private job on "me old grans house", then completley clean out the yard of every stick of scaffold, then promptly leave thinking you've forgotten all about it.
151,Will storm into the office when they see their wages are short claiming all the direct debits have bounced,and they can't pay their mortgage or rent and you owe them big style, and then realise they were actualy on holiday the previous week but had used up all of their holiday days not coming in on the 30 or so Mondays because on of their various grandparents had died (see item 4 )or because they were on the p*ss drrrrrrrrrr
---------- Post added at 12:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:49 PM ----------
152,Will think nothing of actualy using the expletive as a heading for his post in a forum,where sensible people would change a vital letter to abide by the rules......snigger snigger
Yea ,he's always a fat c*nt even if he's thin as a pole
---------- Post added at 12:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:35 PM ----------
139, Will accept and enjoy copious amounts of the contract managers premium grade cocaine at the Xmas piss-up, but then revert to referring to him as "that tight c**t" on Monday January 3.
140, If a rival gang do a large or prestigious job then the phrase "we were supposed to go over and do that, but were busy on item 121" will be used whenever anyone else mentions what a good job they did.
141, Has had a fight (and won) with his girlfriends ex fella (who works on Trad) at least once.
142, A folded up, out of date William Hill football coupon will be kept in the side pocket of his tool bag.
143, Thinks that electricity is piped into scaffolding yards and offices, free of charge.
144, Regardless of that fact that the yard manager has 35 years experience in the scaffolding industry, and has worked 7 days a week for the last 18 months "we sorted the yard out for that fat c**t".
145, Has gone down the yard, at least once 'to beat up the supervisor'.
146, Has never, ever, beaten up the supervisor.
147, Does not have any idea, whatsoever, what tredda plates are actually designed for.
148, Thinks an 'SK' is an acronym for 'steel klamp'.
149,Will happily go on his scaffold course rinsing you for every expense going, come back with a great big Portfolio,dump it on your desk,beg you to fill it in "cus I don't do paperwork" then the minute ,no second,its complete ask for another £20 a day "cus now I'm qualified"
150,Is guarenteed to ask if they can borrow a tiny bit of gear to do a private job on "me old grans house", then completley clean out the yard of every stick of scaffold, then promptly leave thinking you've forgotten all about it.
151,Will storm into the office when they see their wages are short claiming all the direct debits have bounced,and they can't pay their mortgage or rent and you owe them big style, and then realise they were actualy on holiday the previous week but had used up all of their holiday days not coming in on the 30 or so Mondays because on of their various grandparents had died (see item 4 )or because they were on the p*ss drrrrrrrrrr
---------- Post added at 12:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:49 PM ----------
152,Will think nothing of actualy using the expletive as a heading for his post in a forum,where sensible people would change a vital letter to abide by the rules......snigger snigger
Last edited:
markyb
Well-known member
153...Cant start a well paid job until there court case is finished
Aye bonni lad
What do reckon the best one was russ?
Don't know Phil, its a work in progress mate.
---------- Post added at 03:25 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:58 PM ----------
I did laugh when I read your number 26, mainly because I have heard it soooo many times ,The favorite one of mine was the Stolen boat, I can still see it now leant up in the yard and can remember asking why you would actualy need a boat ,when your a scaffolder.
I'm personally quite proud of *79
Scaffman1 chipped in with the superb *44 & *45 - So true!!
Tufty with *87 - Every scaffolder in London has done that!!
Russ with the classics *103 & *132. :laugh:
Last edited:
On the whole my favorite thread Phil,how we laughed in the office when testing out the questions on our unsuspecting scaffs,all of whom you'll be pleased to know passed with flying colours. So nice to have some light hearted banter,I get a bit bored with all the serious stuff. The one thing we have'nt got on the list should be number 153,Great sense of humour,I think all us scaffs have that,you'd have to to be a scaff.
paddy carr
Moderator
Total class lads, brilliant. I cant wait for you's to finish so i can print it off.
Regards
Geordie, i mean Paddy
Regards
Geordie, i mean Paddy
paddy carr
Moderator
Do Dentists only see Scaffolders on a Friday afternoon at 12'0' clock ?
Why does a Scaffolder have to take his Car for a MOT 6 times a year, and only can get it booked in on a Friday at 12'0'clock ?
Why is it, A old scaffolder, that learned me the ropes has died, (you wont know him though, as he moved to Zimbabwe 10 year ago), and his family are holding a wake for him on Friday at 12'0'clock.
Why does a Scaffolder have to take his Car for a MOT 6 times a year, and only can get it booked in on a Friday at 12'0'clock ?
Why is it, A old scaffolder, that learned me the ropes has died, (you wont know him though, as he moved to Zimbabwe 10 year ago), and his family are holding a wake for him on Friday at 12'0'clock.
Gents
Thoroughly enjoyed the thread and thanks to everyone who contributed. Especially Russ.
Anyway, I'm off to the pub now for a few pints of Nelson. Am off to Lords tomorrow for the cricket - and got an order yesterday for a massive, massive job we start on Tuesday. So all good. (No hangars though, sorry lads)
Have a fuc*ing good weekend fellas!
Cheers.
Thoroughly enjoyed the thread and thanks to everyone who contributed. Especially Russ.
Anyway, I'm off to the pub now for a few pints of Nelson. Am off to Lords tomorrow for the cricket - and got an order yesterday for a massive, massive job we start on Tuesday. So all good. (No hangars though, sorry lads)
Have a fuc*ing good weekend fellas!
Cheers.
Thats nothing Phil, however big that massive massive job is It won't be as massive as the one I did on my own last weekend after a skinfull of "easy riders" and 3 lb of coke, a 300 squ hanger off the roof of Canary wharfe, I needed a crane to pull the rope and wheel up. Any way I'm off to the pub now for 50 pints of turbo nutter brew,can't have too much I'm driving. xxx
scaffman1
Well-known member
all this from a single one liner,who'd have thought, priceless chaps...... I wonder if we can publish this work of.......... bolloc.... I mean this classic piece of literacy ?? I'll try to think of a new one for you next week when I'm home from my hols... Have a good weekend fellas..:bigsmile::wacko:
Thanks Scaffman,I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say thanks for that ,I have had a great time thinking up silly one liners to add,the scary thing is most have actualy happened.all this from a single one liner,who'd have thought, priceless chaps...... I wonder if we can publish this work of.......... bolloc.... I mean this classic piece of literacy ?? I'll try to think of a new one for you next week when I'm home from my hols... Have a good weekend fellas..:bigsmile::wacko:
I know its sounds like we have given scaffs a right good slagging off,but having been one for 28 years I think I can speak from experience and don't wish to offend. So if I /we have offended anyone "Tough fuc*ing luck you bunch of cu*ts" there said in true scaff fashion.
paddy carr
Moderator
My favourite also was the Boat, i was PMSFL imagining the wagon with the Bow,Prow feck it, the pointy end sticking out from the back.
The Icing on the cake was we found it on Dry land, and they had to go back the next day for the rest of the gear
Blinkered vision must be a Scaff thing.
Paddy
The Icing on the cake was we found it on Dry land, and they had to go back the next day for the rest of the gear
Blinkered vision must be a Scaff thing.
Paddy
Yea Paddy, they tried to camoflarge it by building the sides of the truck up with boards and then placing boards on top and sliding the boat underneath. I knew something was up when they drove into the yard at full speed and swiftly started unloading,without me telling them to on a friday evening. They hadn't even thought how they were going to get it home ,or where they were going to use it.My favourite also was the Boat, i was PMSFL imagining the wagon with the Bow,Prow feck it, the pointy end sticking out from the back.
The Icing on the cake was we found it on Dry land, and they had to go back the next day for the rest of the gear
Blinkered vision must be a Scaff thing.
Paddy
The same gang had an old g reg jaguar sovreign in green (nice) they used to thrash the living daylights out of it. One day on the way home I was waiting at the lights near the yard and the Jag pulled up facing the wrong way i.e. in reverse. I shouted out the window "what you doing you nutters" they shouted back "Gearbox has gone,we can only get reverse" they drove back to Northampton from Milton keynes like that 22 miles in reverse .Now you see how it was so easy to complie the list Paddy