Hy Jeff you say you do not want sympathy, and I don't offer any.What I do have is a lot of empathy with the dark place you are now in.
I lost my Mother and a younger brother to this vile killer we call cancer. my eldest sons partner was diagnosed with breast cancer 4years ago she had both breast's removed and reconstructive surgery as well as all the chemo sh*t, she got the all clear 18 month ago thank god.
Self pity and getting blathered will not help one little bit.There is not a problem on earth that a drink cannot make worse, Time to man up my friend, and give your wife the support she deserves.There are tears and heartache in front of you, but don't ever forget it is much worse for your wife. With the right support from you, and the care of the NHS you wife has every chance of beating this illnes.
How about going on the wagon until your wife gets the all clear, she would certainly know your commitment to helping her in every way you can, and you would have a few quid more to arrange special treats for her during the months ahead
You have my full support and I sincerely hope you get the result we all are hoping for
best regards