Cant Scaffmag use his own material has to hijack the list you lads put together on the forum, get original scaffmag:toung::toung:
To be a real scaff you need the following…
1, Tattoos on the forearm or neck
2, A complete and utter lack of financial understanding and planning.
3, A mobile phone with a cracked screen.
4, At least a dozen Grandmothers (all of whom die on a sunday night/monday morning)
5, Has had a stint in prison.
6, The unique ability to talk a complex structure (up and down and on the wagon) from the comfort of a bar stool.
7, The CSA after him.
8, A brother/cousin who “is on Trad’s”
9, A suprisingly fit girlfriend.
10, At least one staffie.
11, Kids by at least 2 different partners
12,Had worked putting the roof on Canary wharfe
13,Has been done for drink driving at least once
14,Knows at least 1 person that worked with the Krays
15,Smokes or smoked weed
16,Drives a battered old car with no tax insurance or mot
17,Must be racist
18,Wears joggers with holes where burned with disc cutter
19,Must have illegible handwriting, like a Doctor.
20,The ability to swear at least 3 times in every sentance and make it sound ok.
21,An inherant hatred of traffic wardens,the police,Judges,Magistrates,Site managers and most of all Bricklayers + their ex wives and their ex wives partners,families, families pets etc etc etc
22, Have a stupid, childish ringtone on his mobile phone
23, Gets the evening standard for the sole purpose of looking at the scaffolding jobs (regardless of whether looking for work or not)
24, Have chips with their breakfast (under 25′s only)
25, Spends every other night ‘up all night with the little one’ – even though their missus doesn’t work
26, Have an amazing ability to keep a straight face when saying “what are we gonna get paid for saturday?’” – even though a complete moron could work out that absolutely nothing gets done on the saturday and they were clearly in the Wetherspoons at 11am
27, Have tinned, not fried tomatoes with their breakfast (over 25′s only)
28, Own a ‘standard scaffolders issue phone’ that runs out of battery at 3.30pm, every day
29, Takes a sh*t at least 4 times a day (daywork lads only)
30, Thinks Cancun is a good place to get married
31, Has a bacon roll for breakfast (over 50′s only)
32, Doesn’t realise that there is an echo when you ring your governor from a pub toilet.
33,Only ever does “drawing jobs mate” but can’t actually read one.
34,Works on a site with skips ,and waste bins everywhere but can’t put the crisp bags,coke cans,fag packets,old scratch cards,copies of the Sun,Sport etc into one of the said wast recepticles,prefering instead to leave it in the lorry so that its so dirty you need a tetnus jab to get in it.
35,Would walk miles to get to a cafe, but won’t walk 50 ft to get the gear because “I’m a f*ckin scaff not a Donkey mate”
36,Will use any of the following items, Nail,bolt,old drill bit,bit of threaded rod,piece of wood or metal to knock in a hilti m16 insert EVEN IF THEY HAD THE DRIFT .
37,Would think nothing of carefully cutting out a patch of carefuly erected monoflex
so as to be able to watch women below.
38,Will spend thousands on the latest flatscreen tv but won’t buy a new spanner ,prefering to fix it with an old nail or the like.
39,Will wear boots that Robinson Crusoe wouldn’t been seen in,unless on the cards and then DeWalt are the only boots acceptable.
40,Will ask endless stupid questions during a toolbox talk in your time to drag it out,but won’t even breathe during a toolbox talk ,at lets say 4 ish !
41, Have to have at least 6 red bulls a day.
42, Go to the shop for food after coming to work,even if they pass the bloody thing on the way in.
43, Must own an aquaphone:- rings the boss the instant a drop of rain hits it.
44, Be allergic to the fittings shed.
45, And paint.
46, Must have the ability to drive to the job and back at 40 mph (motorway or not )
47, And 90 mph if it’s a job and knock.
48, Be a proper chatterbox from 8am to 8:30 when they get into work and practically deaf and dumb at ten to five when its time to go home.
49, Must think that supplied work clothes are of the disposable type. Most of ours are behind seats of lorries and in the canteen.
50, Who’s next for a rant.
Part 2 Coming Next Week…
With Thanks to Chris Lee.
To be a real scaff you need the following…
1, Tattoos on the forearm or neck
2, A complete and utter lack of financial understanding and planning.
3, A mobile phone with a cracked screen.
4, At least a dozen Grandmothers (all of whom die on a sunday night/monday morning)
5, Has had a stint in prison.
6, The unique ability to talk a complex structure (up and down and on the wagon) from the comfort of a bar stool.
7, The CSA after him.
8, A brother/cousin who “is on Trad’s”
9, A suprisingly fit girlfriend.
10, At least one staffie.
11, Kids by at least 2 different partners
12,Had worked putting the roof on Canary wharfe
13,Has been done for drink driving at least once
14,Knows at least 1 person that worked with the Krays
15,Smokes or smoked weed
16,Drives a battered old car with no tax insurance or mot
17,Must be racist
18,Wears joggers with holes where burned with disc cutter
19,Must have illegible handwriting, like a Doctor.
20,The ability to swear at least 3 times in every sentance and make it sound ok.
21,An inherant hatred of traffic wardens,the police,Judges,Magistrates,Site managers and most of all Bricklayers + their ex wives and their ex wives partners,families, families pets etc etc etc
22, Have a stupid, childish ringtone on his mobile phone
23, Gets the evening standard for the sole purpose of looking at the scaffolding jobs (regardless of whether looking for work or not)
24, Have chips with their breakfast (under 25′s only)
25, Spends every other night ‘up all night with the little one’ – even though their missus doesn’t work
26, Have an amazing ability to keep a straight face when saying “what are we gonna get paid for saturday?’” – even though a complete moron could work out that absolutely nothing gets done on the saturday and they were clearly in the Wetherspoons at 11am
27, Have tinned, not fried tomatoes with their breakfast (over 25′s only)
28, Own a ‘standard scaffolders issue phone’ that runs out of battery at 3.30pm, every day
29, Takes a sh*t at least 4 times a day (daywork lads only)
30, Thinks Cancun is a good place to get married
31, Has a bacon roll for breakfast (over 50′s only)
32, Doesn’t realise that there is an echo when you ring your governor from a pub toilet.
33,Only ever does “drawing jobs mate” but can’t actually read one.
34,Works on a site with skips ,and waste bins everywhere but can’t put the crisp bags,coke cans,fag packets,old scratch cards,copies of the Sun,Sport etc into one of the said wast recepticles,prefering instead to leave it in the lorry so that its so dirty you need a tetnus jab to get in it.
35,Would walk miles to get to a cafe, but won’t walk 50 ft to get the gear because “I’m a f*ckin scaff not a Donkey mate”
36,Will use any of the following items, Nail,bolt,old drill bit,bit of threaded rod,piece of wood or metal to knock in a hilti m16 insert EVEN IF THEY HAD THE DRIFT .
37,Would think nothing of carefully cutting out a patch of carefuly erected monoflex
so as to be able to watch women below.
38,Will spend thousands on the latest flatscreen tv but won’t buy a new spanner ,prefering to fix it with an old nail or the like.
39,Will wear boots that Robinson Crusoe wouldn’t been seen in,unless on the cards and then DeWalt are the only boots acceptable.
40,Will ask endless stupid questions during a toolbox talk in your time to drag it out,but won’t even breathe during a toolbox talk ,at lets say 4 ish !
41, Have to have at least 6 red bulls a day.
42, Go to the shop for food after coming to work,even if they pass the bloody thing on the way in.
43, Must own an aquaphone:- rings the boss the instant a drop of rain hits it.
44, Be allergic to the fittings shed.
45, And paint.
46, Must have the ability to drive to the job and back at 40 mph (motorway or not )
47, And 90 mph if it’s a job and knock.
48, Be a proper chatterbox from 8am to 8:30 when they get into work and practically deaf and dumb at ten to five when its time to go home.
49, Must think that supplied work clothes are of the disposable type. Most of ours are behind seats of lorries and in the canteen.
50, Who’s next for a rant.
Part 2 Coming Next Week…
With Thanks to Chris Lee.
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