Firstly get a crminal record for violence ,then a divorce,fail a breath test and have hmrc on your back for fifthteen years of no stamp payments,always start a sentence with I'm not racist but,,,,,and everytime u go on holiday take a spare suitcase for ciggies,pouches ,cs gas and porn playing cards,lastly don't bother paying into a retirement plan as 2 quid a week won't buy a pack of werthers !
Seriously though mate listen to the old dogs,open your ears and keep your mouth shut,best of luck to you