Funny stories of old scaffs?

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Brierleyhillscaff1

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Hi all where can I tell you all the funny things that I have seen scaffs do .been a scaff for 28 years and I have seen a lot of funny scaffs.lol.
 
i got 1 to tell ya... was on a job a few years ago n the couple went out house shoppin if i remember rite n said door open if ya need loo or tea.. so anyway after 10 minutes of shoutin for this lad we hear a voice comin from bathroom window, he was only bollock naked on weighin scales weigin himself lol.. couldn't stop pi$$in myself laughin like then we hear car comin up drive n the coupple were bk never seen the fcuker move so fast in my life...
 
lets hear sum then bud,i,ve had sum laugh along the way to met sum great charaters in last 14 years work wi a guy tht thought he was fluent in 3 languages polish romania and turkish he would go up to them a tell them he would help them wi there english and come away stuff like when u c a woman ask if she give blowjobs in english that means she is very beautiful and loads of other things, oh the egg 1 old guy used to have hard boiled eggs everyday crack over sum1 head everyday he done it so we switch the egg he never done that again i,m laughing writin it class bring bak old skool days much more fun :D
 
come on lads its 34 views and only 2 have put sum thin doon surly canny b tht boring were u all work:push:
 
Long ago i remember working with an old scouser called arthur,now this was before hard hats,and arthur had no hair at all,arthur percieved his baldness as something to be ashamed of,so he always wore the same old black tatty bobble hat,with the bobble long gone,but the funny bit was he used to draw in sideburns and a D.A. in black boot polish,and think no one knew,feckin hell not one of us could keep a straight face looking at him,and he was the leading hand,so he used to liase with the agents ect,and at that time we did huge industrial mats in the roofs in british aerospace,where the temprature was unbelievable,as soon as he smeared all the sweat with the boot polish,feckin hell he looked like gene simmons out of kiss,i'm laughing like feck here just remembering,same guy used smoke 60 capstan full strength a day,so i doubt he's still alive:eek::laugh::laugh:
 
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I remember a lad on the Gin wheel, thought he could pull himself up.
Put his feet in the fitting bag and started pulling thinking he would go higher and higher.
His feet went from underneath him and smacked straight onto his back (Concrete below) and winded himself badly.
Numpty. LOL
 
stripping a tower block in manchester and we needed a labourer, so we asked in the pub that night, a big lad said i could do that so we said start tomorrow, anyway we were stripping the top lifts and it had to lowered on a rope and wheel, told the lad the crack and tied a 21 on, i shouted over have you got that? its heavy, he replied "let the fukca go" over it went and he just let the rope go up:eek:, i was screaming at him to get it, when it was about 25' of the deck he grabbed the rope, i kid you not the smoke was unbelievable and you could smell his skin, needless to say he just walked away up the high street with his hands held aloft like john wayne into the morning sunset.:cry:

he was never seen again:nuts::nuts:
 
He wasnt a scaff but a supervisor and was b4 i started scaffodling ....to stop people drinking his milk or drinking out of his cup he use to put his fake eye in it the horrible fuker
 
We pulled up at a job in the waggon, the door flung open as my labourer went to fire himself out via placing his hand upon the weel arch of the cab trying to look macho as a young lady walked buy, how much of a c.u.n.t did he look when he completely missed the wheel arch and landed on his face and rolled under the cab. Peeeeeeeeeeeeed myself.


Working in Coventry city center with 2 lads, we dismantling and abusing young pretty ladies as they went by. A battered old car went passed and a voice said "leave the lady's alone and get your harness on". Obviously a nosy parker so the normall abuse was hurled, "f off you kiddy fiddling F ucker", as you do. Ha ha ha, 10 mins later the same bloke popped his head through the building window. Yep you got it, only the bloody health and safety officer. Bounced the 2 of them down he road. Ha ha ha ha ha
 
steve198622 said:
i got 1 to tell ya... was on a job a few years ago n the couple went out house shoppin if i remember rite n said door open if ya need loo or tea.. so anyway after 10 minutes of shoutin for this lad we hear a voice comin from bathroom window, he was only bollock naked on weighin scales weigin himself lol.. couldn't stop pi$$in myself laughin like then we hear car comin up drive n the coupple were bk never seen the fcuker move so fast in my life...
Click to expand...

Hahaha just Fuc.king p1ssed myself reading that. Reminds me of the time we did a funeral parlour with the owners house attached at the side. The daughter came to the door in nightie when her dad had gone out. Cue the lead hand who was married taking her upstairs and smashing her back doors in :laugh:
 
many years ago when just a labourer i was working with an older scaff and we were striking a newsagents shop front - the standards were dropped down though a canopy over the doorway which was to be replaced later in the refurb ,after all the lifts wers struck just leaving the stds coming up through the canopy and my mate steve was pulling them up & out to me to put on the lorry.
whilst loading the lorry with my back to him he started shouting that the std wasn't coming out and was stuck ," there must be a fitting underneath it stopping it, i can feel it bumping under the canopy."and i could hear him struggling and F ing & blinding - as i turned around i saw a woman come out of the newsagent shouting and screaming pointing up at him,
thinking he was in trouble or about to drop the tube i ran back to him, just in time to see the ladies small yorkie terrier's head busrt through the canopy half frightening my mate to death,making him drop the tube,-closely followed by the yorkie back to the payment with a thud - it seems that the little old lady popped into the shop quickly and tied her dog to the rather strong looking pole for security and as she left the shop all she could see was the dog yo-yoing in the window before it ended up above her, it wasn't a fitting stopping the tube it was the dogs head.
you really had to be there to beleave it
,my mate steve was a real legend who unfortunately passed away last year of cancer,at 59 yeards old and worked daily till days beforehe died putting many of the young lads to shame,
there are loads of old school stories like this that always get repeated on company piss ups
 
I was told one a few years ago:

There was a bloke at Heathrow T5 i worked with for Palmers called, erm... Lyndon, i believe. He worked with some right mouthy little shiit called Jonny Savage or something.

Anyway, he had a Palmers van and this young Jonny fella asked one weekend if Lyndon could help him move his birds stuff into his Flat. So he did and not only did he help, he also helped himself to a selection of the young Womans sexy underwear also, lol.

The next Monday morning he wore them at work and told this Jonny how 'smooth and sexy' he felt wearing his birds knickers and he SHOWED everyone else on the job also, lmfao!

Proper nutter, lol.
 
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