stupid things we have said ...

tinhorn

tinhorn

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was sat on the throne thinking about stupid things we say at work

i need a big 7 ... so its a 8 then

i need a 16 , at which point the woof , ask s tube or board
that is normally followed by a mouth full of insults about the size of his brain
(no we dont use the old shamfered 16ft ones any more)

woof, why do we need base boards on the new patio
passer bye ,what you doing scaff , answer oh there having a night club built on to the side of there council house ,

owner of shop in high st , your not leaving that 3ft high base lift in the frontof the shop are you (this is at 7 in morning, )reply , oh yes , then 15 mins of explaining it was a joke

empty lorry in yard , woof asks we stripping or erecting today
 
"Long for ledgers" on a 20 foot long job

labourer says we aint got no long left

"give me 13 and 8 s then "

"but we aint got any long "

"then give me 16 and 5s"

but you dont understand , we aint got any long

then we will have to back to the yard and get some ,

Oh no cant we just make them up with something :cry:
 
before a site induction 1 saturday morning in grantham approx 12 yrs ago, all the directors of sgb was present and 1 of the lads still pissed from the friday night went up to them and said " right lets get this ironed out before we even start, Wheres the nearest sarni shop, wheres the nearest bookies and if we finish at 11 are getting the full shift."
it didnt go down too well.
Woody from Barnsley is a gem.
 
Funniest thing i have ever seen was when i got inducted for Canary Wharf, the second time - in about 2006.
Sitting in the Induction room, being inducted by the jobs Health and Safety Manager (HSM)... a Geordie (I cant remember his name).

Everyone had handed their forms in and the HSM was being nosey, flicking through them.
When all of a sudden he said: "Who the fukk is Anus Brownfinger!?"
This foreigner put his hand up and said: "Me, i am... That is me."
So the HSM said: "What??? - Your name is Anus??? - Thats a shiit name mate!"

By that time everyone in the room was crying with laughter, myself included.
What was a 1 hour Induction, turned into about 3, as no one could stop laughing, not even through the videos they made us watch, lol.

In the end, we worked out that the guys name was Zanus Brunzinger - or something like that.
His English was poor and he didnt have a clue what we was all laughing about, lol.


I swear on my kids, it was the funniest thing ive ever seen. :laugh:
 
Most stupidest thing I've ever said.... OK here comes the confession.

Not too long ago I was on a site and I was preparing gear for the next lift. This is a fairly big site so there was a dedicated, full time forky to help the trades move gear around. Now he had a reputation as a bit of a miserable old git, he was hated in fact by a few of the blokes on site. So when I waved him down I ran over to him and said very politely

"Hey mate can you move that stilage of 5s to the loading bay on plot x"

"No f**k off and do it yourself" he said maliciously.

How DARE he speak to a scaffolder like that!!!! People have been left broken and buried for daring to do that!!! Everyone knows we are crazy and know not to wind us up! This guy was asking for it, he'd gone too far.

I knew the importance of my response. So, with the reputation of EVERY scaffolder in the country, hanging on my reply to this.... I looked the horrible scabby c**t right in the eye..... and I said....





Please? :eek:
 
on a mall fit out, we had to dismantle a mobile tower as it was getting close to mall opening time there was an electrician still fiddling with some lights,a scaffolder on the job got a tad impatiant and asked me how to make him get a wriggle on. I told him to get him down by any means necessary . to this day I still cant beleave what happend, he climbed the scaffold removed the sparkys hat and wrapped his spanner around his head, pulled him off and started stricking the tower.
 
its ok wee man you stay on the deck today i dont feel that rough,ill go down the droppers.
FECK IT LETS GO TO THE DANCING(NIGHT CLUB)IVE NOT GOT MUCH ON TOMORROW SHOULD BE AN EASY SHIFT:eek:
 
I WILL DO IT ON A PRICE:cry:

---------- Post added at 10:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:00 PM ----------

YER A PAL GIVE ME IT WHEN YOUVE GOT IT:eek:

---------- Post added at 10:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:01 PM ----------

HES A GOOD PAL OF MINE AND WONT LET YOU DOWN:eek:
 
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