A guide to being a useless pr!ck

Flinty

Flinty

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How to be a useless pr!ck

Transport

Don't get a driving license, why would you need that when you can get the boss to make someone else take you! Save yourself the cost of running an expensive vehicle and pay nothing towards getting to work.

Remember, be useless from the start. Despite the driver having to get up earlier and go out of his way to get you, always be late! On some days leave it so late that the driver leaves, then call up the boss saying the driver never showed up. This will ensure there are arguments at the yard and best of all you can wait at home a bit longer while the driver comes back for you.

Now and again forget something and insist you go back for it, then when you show up late to the yard say nothing when the boss questions the driver why he's late.

Take every opportunity to ask to stop at a shop, even if you've been already and have no money left. Just go in to look around and walk out with a small chocolate bar.

Its important not to show any respect to the vehicle, leave all your rubbish in it so the driver can clean it up in his own time.

Annoy the driver by taking over the radio and searching through stations until you find something only you would like.

Spend the entire day moaning you don't want a late finish, then as you pack away insist on having a fag or taking a large sh!t while the driver waits for you.

Follow these basic tips and you will ensure that you are a completely useless, scabby pr!ck.
 
I think you will find that every firm big & small has them, fcumking parasites
 
Happens to me all the time. Took one lad in went miles out of my way to get him took him to shops at break stopped at shops on way to work get fags got no petrol money of him or the company 2 weeks in found out he had a car he just didn't Like to use it for work.
 
100% on the driving licence flinty cant see one single perk haveing a company van a part from the fuel card your first up last home it might as well have taxi on the roof like you say if your late its your fault your the only poor sod that cant snooze as your driving you get all the speeding fines and parking fines and you get no more dosh at the end of the week and when you ask for a fiver for a car wash and hoover they look at you like your stupid lol!!!
 
Ha. Had a few of them. The bit that pissz me off the most is when you turn into their alarm clock. The bedroom curtains only move after you've pulled up outside the house!!
Dirty feet up on the dash & can't even be arsed to say cheers once you've dropped him back off at home even though you've got another hour stuck in rush hour traffic due to this prick before you get home!!
I won't do it now, I'll pick em up at a point near their house & off they're not there on time fkuk em & I'll only drop em off at a bus stop on their route. Sick of playing mum to proper knob heads.
 
Mr.B said:
flinty u on spires?
Click to expand...

I was for a bit over the summer with Rob but I'm elsewhere now. You're on Spires I'm guessing?

I'll write another "how to be a pr!ck guide" on something else some other time.
 
MY FAVOURITE WHEN PICKING PEOPLE UP IS THE WAVE FROM THE WINDOW WITH THE CUP OF TEA IN ONE HAND A SLICE OF TOAST IN THE OTHER.YOU KNOW WHEN THE CURTAINS SHUT AGAIN HES BACK IN THE SEAT TO FINNISH IT OFF.THIS IS AFTER YOU HAVE WARNED HIM TO BE AT THE END OF THE STREET WAITING FOR YOU :mad:
 
Flinty said:
I was for a bit over the summer with Rob but I'm elsewhere now. You're on Spires I'm guessing?

I'll write another "how to be a pr!ck guide" on something else some other time.
Click to expand...

nah done a week at the start of feb, to be honest i couldnt work with the lads, they either talked it up or fucked it up.
was at the site they had in basignstoke
 
Leave them in bed/at home and tell your boss to go and get them himself that's what we do. They only act the cnut if you let them.
 
we had a new labourer start on monday got in the wagon and told him to lock the gates when to back out and the **** had only locked gates with us on in side, he was not in today thank f--k
 
b-safe1 said:
we had a new labourer start on monday got in the wagon and told him to lock the gates when to back out and the **** had only locked gates with us on in side, he was not in today thank f--k
Click to expand...

Management material in the making
 
Flinty said:
How to be a useless pr!ck

Transport

Don't get a driving license, why would you need that when you can get the boss to make someone else take you! Save yourself the cost of running an expensive vehicle and pay nothing towards getting to work.

Remember, be useless from the start. Despite the driver having to get up earlier and go out of his way to get you, always be late! On some days leave it so late that the driver leaves, then call up the boss saying the driver never showed up. This will ensure there are arguments at the yard and best of all you can wait at home a bit longer while the driver comes back for you.

Now and again forget something and insist you go back for it, then when you show up late to the yard say nothing when the boss questions the driver why he's late.

Take every opportunity to ask to stop at a shop, even if you've been already and have no money left. Just go in to look around and walk out with a small chocolate bar.

Its important not to show any respect to the vehicle, leave all your rubbish in it so the driver can clean it up in his own time.

Annoy the driver by taking over the radio and searching through stations until you find something only you would like.

Spend the entire day moaning you don't want a late finish, then as you pack away insist on having a fag or taking a large sh!t while the driver waits for you.

Follow these basic tips and you will ensure that you are a completely useless, scabby pr!ck.
Click to expand...

Theres c.unts on every firm.
Seems actually, that there are more c.unts then normal guys nowadays, lol.
 
Huh.... I'm really not the only one who has this regularly happen/happened to them!! :amazed:

---------- Post added at 07:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:13 PM ----------
Mr.B said:
nah done a week at the start of feb, to be honest i couldnt work with the lads, they either talked it up or fucked it up.
was at the site they had in basignstoke
Click to expand...

Didn't go to that site I was the Eynsham one. They seem to go through a lot of blokes I noticed, and "talking it up or f*cking it up" seems fairly common not just on Spires!
 
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