Flinty
Moderator
Its the long awaited part 3 of the "how to be a useless pr!ck" series. This time we will be going over the best ways to be a useless pr!ck when you are in a position of power when dealing with scaffolders, such as a site agent or manager.
Past episodes:
Part one, transport:
http://www.scaffoldersforum.com/scaffolders-forum/13088-guide-being-useless-google-page-ranking-ck.html
Part two, members of the public:
http://www.scaffoldersforum.com/scaffolders-forum/14521-guide-being-useless-google-page-ranking-ck-part-two.html
Part three, Site agents, contractors and other 'suits and boots'.
Remember it is not your duty to organise, but to annoy and hinder the scaffolders at every opportunity. This can be done in many ways, sticking to actions that waste the scaffolders time or make his job more difficult normally get the best reactions. Example.
On a site with timber frame structures, it's not exactly important as the man in charge to look at the drawings of the buildings you'll be putting up, simply get the scaffolders to put 2 lifts around where the building will be, then look at the drawing and realise its a bungalow. Try to argue you're not paying for the 2nd lift.
Following the not looking at the drawing example above, there's no reason to look at the drawing on brick builds either. Once the scaffolds down you can ask the scaffolder to put a stack up because you forgot the chimney. The fake one. Which does nothing. After they've took it down realise that part of the gable ends are incorrect, so get them to scaffold it again. After they've took that one down, realise that the bay windows are also incorrect. So get the scaffold back up again. Then when they look really unhappy moan at them that the other builds are falling behind.*1
Do the all time classic of screaming down the phone "I NEED this job up NOW my blokes are waiting!!!!" Even though you don't need it for another 2 weeks. Just for laughs.
Moan at the scaffolders for the smallest detail, a 1 inch gap in the toeboards for example, and threaten to condemn it. Then dig a series of trenches under a scaffold that men are working on, leaving standards hanging and wonder why the scaffolder throws everyone off the job.
A small amount of knowledge is all you need with WAH, so get up there and shout at the scaffolders to clip on when they're on a completed lift that other trades are working on, and attempt to guess what the rules and regs are, the fabled "HSE will go mad!" sentence goes well here. Note: Beware smart arsed scaffs that paid attention on their course, they may show you up.
Make the scaffolders base out in mud. Deep mud. Then after its up build a temporary road up to the loading bay so the forklift doesn't get too muddy.
Really p!ss street scaffs off by not giving decent directions to the job, "go to the traffic lights, turn right where the clio is parked, then down that road until you pass a mother pushing a pram then turn left past the dead badger in the road. The jobs opposite the postman's van" will leave them really confused.
Remove all the bracing and ties. They're only there for decorative purposes anyway. Then moan the scaffolds moving.
Ban shorts. You have no idea why, just do it. When questioned end the discussion quickly by announcing "its the rules!"
Follow these guidelines listed here will ensure a terrible working relation between yourself and the scaffolders and earn yourself a place in the ranks of the useless, scabby pr!cks.
1: The best part of this bit is this actually happened on a SHOW HOME on a building site!
Past episodes:
Part one, transport:
http://www.scaffoldersforum.com/scaffolders-forum/13088-guide-being-useless-google-page-ranking-ck.html
Part two, members of the public:
http://www.scaffoldersforum.com/scaffolders-forum/14521-guide-being-useless-google-page-ranking-ck-part-two.html
Part three, Site agents, contractors and other 'suits and boots'.
Remember it is not your duty to organise, but to annoy and hinder the scaffolders at every opportunity. This can be done in many ways, sticking to actions that waste the scaffolders time or make his job more difficult normally get the best reactions. Example.
On a site with timber frame structures, it's not exactly important as the man in charge to look at the drawings of the buildings you'll be putting up, simply get the scaffolders to put 2 lifts around where the building will be, then look at the drawing and realise its a bungalow. Try to argue you're not paying for the 2nd lift.
Following the not looking at the drawing example above, there's no reason to look at the drawing on brick builds either. Once the scaffolds down you can ask the scaffolder to put a stack up because you forgot the chimney. The fake one. Which does nothing. After they've took it down realise that part of the gable ends are incorrect, so get them to scaffold it again. After they've took that one down, realise that the bay windows are also incorrect. So get the scaffold back up again. Then when they look really unhappy moan at them that the other builds are falling behind.*1
Do the all time classic of screaming down the phone "I NEED this job up NOW my blokes are waiting!!!!" Even though you don't need it for another 2 weeks. Just for laughs.
Moan at the scaffolders for the smallest detail, a 1 inch gap in the toeboards for example, and threaten to condemn it. Then dig a series of trenches under a scaffold that men are working on, leaving standards hanging and wonder why the scaffolder throws everyone off the job.
A small amount of knowledge is all you need with WAH, so get up there and shout at the scaffolders to clip on when they're on a completed lift that other trades are working on, and attempt to guess what the rules and regs are, the fabled "HSE will go mad!" sentence goes well here. Note: Beware smart arsed scaffs that paid attention on their course, they may show you up.
Make the scaffolders base out in mud. Deep mud. Then after its up build a temporary road up to the loading bay so the forklift doesn't get too muddy.
Really p!ss street scaffs off by not giving decent directions to the job, "go to the traffic lights, turn right where the clio is parked, then down that road until you pass a mother pushing a pram then turn left past the dead badger in the road. The jobs opposite the postman's van" will leave them really confused.
Remove all the bracing and ties. They're only there for decorative purposes anyway. Then moan the scaffolds moving.
Ban shorts. You have no idea why, just do it. When questioned end the discussion quickly by announcing "its the rules!"
Follow these guidelines listed here will ensure a terrible working relation between yourself and the scaffolders and earn yourself a place in the ranks of the useless, scabby pr!cks.
1: The best part of this bit is this actually happened on a SHOW HOME on a building site!
